In January 2021, I began my journey of self-development. Through attending various seminars, I realized I wanted more for my life. Read my story in the About Me section, as well as my post, The Importance of Self-Development.
One of the points that the speakers in the seminars kept coming back to was that you don’t have to re-invent the wheel; find someone who already has done what you want and learn from them. This could mean buying their book, attending their course, sending them an email, or asking for a meeting.
The problem was, I didn’t have a role model in the area I struggled with. There was no one actively advocating scars and imperfections. There are few celebrities who have scars that show them freely, but for the majority of them, it’s not a point they constantly speak on. As crazy as this sounds, I needed someone to tell me it was okay to show my scar, because that confirmation would help me deal with the judgment I knew would surely come from people. This realization of needing a role model but not having one led me to do something out of my comfort zone. I decided to become my own role model (and superhero)!
The Role of a Role Model
I thought about what being a role model meant for me. I knew that a role model was (1) someone who was the original “author” in a certain subject, the one who did it first, and then showed other people how to do it, or (2) someone living authentically who paved the way for others to follow. I asked myself the question, “how could I be a role model when I was still actively struggling with the insecurity around this scar?” In order for me answer this question, I had to overcome my fears. I had to be the first to step out. And essentially, I became the first Scarlight!
It is important in life to take brave action and overcome your fears because you never know who looks up to you. It could be your children, your niece or nephew, even your parents. But you can’t be an efficient role model if you’re not being who you are truly meant to be.
I had an interview a few months ago for a Project Manager position, and the interviewer asked who inspired me. I replied that my son did, and that I had to be an example for him. My son is 13 and loves baseball. He’s been playing since he was 6 and plays on a travel baseball team with the hopes of playing in the MLB someday (crosses fingers). Baseball is a mental sport. You have to have the confidence when you’re up to bat that you are going to hit the ball out of the park or that you will strike that batter out when you’re pitching; there’s no in between.
Once I began my self-development journey, I started to relay some of the principles of mindset to my son. Like how he has to be confident and have the motivation and skill level to reach his goals. If he wants to be the best player in high school, he has to put in the work, practice everyday, and eat healthy. But how many of us parents have told our kids what to do but did not actually show them? As I thought about my answer, I realized that if I’m not being brave, taking risks, putting in the work, how can I expect him to? I had to become the role model for him. Not only that, I want to leave a legacy for my son, something for him to have when I am no longer around, even if it’s just a quote that I’m always saying.
At the time of writing this post, I’ve just finished Trent Shelton’s book, The Greatest You. Which is amazing, I loved it! Chapter 10 is titled, “What Kind of Legacy Do You Want to Leave?” There are two quotes from the book that resonated with me.
“When you leave a great legacy, you give others an amazing gift – you give them a huge lead when they take the baton from you.”Trent Shelton
“I’m not saying I’m gonna rule the world or I’m gonna change the world, but I guarantee you that I will spark the brain that will change the world.”Tupac Shakur
In life, you have to Level Up like Ciara tells us. become the role model. Not only for yourself, but for others as well. Whatever your calling is or whatever you make it, strive to be the best version of yourself so others can follow in your footsteps. I don’t know where Scar Power will lead me, but I know I was brave enough to step out of my comfort zone and try to do something great! If just 1 woman reads my story and follows my journey and it sparks a light in her to do something outstanding, then I have done my job.