I started this company based on the fact that I have a physical scar that held me back from living for so long. But the truth about scars is…. they are not just physical, they are also mental. You can’t talk about a physical scar without talking about the mental side of it as well, because they are interconnected. It’s not just about the physical scar, it’s how you view and think about the physical scar. That’s why self- development is so important… and that’s where I come in. I didn’t start this company only to show women what it’s like to live with a physical scar in hopes to inspire them, but also to help them help themselves change the mental side of their scars. That’s why I decided to start the different aspects of Scar Power: (1) Powerbooks, A MasterMind Book Club, (2) Scarlights feature articles, and the (3) Scar Power Apparel. It’s all to assist in getting you into a different mindset and a different perspective on your scars.

Some people wear their scars better than others, some people hide them better, but we all have them in some form or another. They are part of life, just like falling on the playground and skinning you knee when you were a child; it will hurt, you may cry, but eventually you get back up, put a bandage on it, and then get back to playing.

Scars in relationships

Scars come in many different forms, for many different reasons, and one of the big reasons is from relationships. It doesn’t always have to be a romantic one, even though a lot of the time it is, it could also be a messed up relationship with a parent, a child, a sibling, or a co-worker. But there is nothing more powerful than the scars from Love.

I’ve had my share of relationship scars, and I’ve inflicted scars on others as well, so I’m not going to say I’m a saint here. But it’s only by looking at our scars through the lens of self-compassions and understanding that we make progress. We have to examine them. When something goes wrong in a relationship, do we really stop and think about what that situation may have triggered in us? Why do we feel this way? What is the lesson? Of course not in the moment when emotions are at their highest, but even after… we don’t really think about the why or the lesson.

The Role We Play

As women, we may have habits that create patterns in our lives which show up in our actions, whether it be accepting certain things we know we shouldn’t accept, doing things over and over again that we know is not right for us, or letting our emotions get in the way of our thinking. Until we really take a look at ourselves and own who we are, we won’t ever get a higher understanding of our problem; that problem will just keep happening.

Recently, I realized I had fallen into a previous pattern. I was not being authentic with myself and was giving my power away. It then dawned on me: how can I form a company and talk about being authentic and stepping in your power when I am not doing it myself?! I had to take a hard look at a situation, express my truth, and let it lead me to the outcome that was supposed to happen. I had trust that everything would work out, and eventually it did! When you step up and own yourself, it allows you to release an inner power you had within yourself the entire time!

The truth about scars is that we play a role in our scarring. Whether it is just blindly accepting what you know isn’t right for you or settling for something less than, we give our power away, way too much. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi:

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

Mahatma Gandhi

This means that YOU control your emotions, YOU control your reactions; therefore, YOU control your life. First you have to realize this fact, and only then will you have the choice and freedom to change it. 

The Lesson

The truth about scars is:

• they come in both physical and mental forms
• there are many forms of scarring, and a lot of them result from relationships
• we play a role in our scarring. We have to understand that and take our power back. That means doing the inner work, the uncomfortable work, asking questions, looking at the whys.
• scars are a part of life. They are the by-products of lessons learned. Scars are like the rainbows after the storm, evidence that the storm has passed. They bring hope. They help you grow, let you know that you survived and you’re okay. Scars brings clarity, change, truth.

EMBRACE THEM.