So, what’s your story? I’m listening.

So many of us are wrapped up in the story of our lives, which of course makes sense because that’s all we know. But the problem is, our story is not US. Your story is not YOU. You have a story, but you are not A STORY.

I heard a talk by Sadghuru, an amazing guru from India, that explained the concept of me vs. mine. He stated,

“What belongs to me cannot be me. You identified with something that you are not. The moment you identify with something you are not you cannot stop the mechanics of the mind.”


Once we attach to our story, that’s all we see, that’s all we know and it’s hard to get past it. We build our stories on quicksand and the more we continue to fight it, the more it drags us deeper. I recently joined a few Facebook Groups, and the theme of a few people’s comments was their trauma was so detrimental, it was still hard for them to discuss. This is where they get pulled deeper into the quicksand. It’s only when we discuss our stories that we will begin to heal from the pain and the hurt that they’ve caused. When we keep it bottled in, it is a constant irritant to our entire being and it blocks us from seeing and thinking clearly.

BrenĂ© Brown, a leading shame researcher says, “once you shine a light on your shame story, it can no longer survive.” This is the reason why I decided to create Scarlights, an avenue where women can free themselves from the pain of their story and become an inspiration to others.

My Story

We all have a story of some sort that affect us in many ways, but we also HAVE THE POWER WITHIN OURSELVES TO CHANGE IT! I don’t think you understand how powerful we really are as human beings. There is a quote by Wayne Dyer, “As You Think, So Shall You Be” that brings this concept to the forefront. Now I’m not saying that we have a magic wand that we can just point to the issue and it magically disappears, but I am saying that we have the ability to consciously change our thoughts. And by consciously changing our thoughts, we can change how we feel, which can ultimately change how we live our lives. So whatever story you have been telling yourself, you can change it to work for you, not against you.

My story was that my scar was ugly and it took away from me. It took my confidence and it took some of my self-worth because I highly valued beauty and the way I looked. And we all do. We all want to look our best in order to feel our best. But when we have a trauma that changes the way we look, it changes the way we feel, which changes our entire outlook on life. We can no longer see the beauty in things. We can no longer smell the flowers or feel the rain because we’re struggling to stay afloat in the quicksand of our story. In order for us to LIVE, fully LIVE in this life, WE HAVE TO find a way to change our mindset and our thinking around our stories. That is the only way we will become free.

The New Story

So you must create a new story; whatever that means for you. Use your trauma and the resulting scars for something more than trapping yourself in a life of limitations. You are stunting your growth and your progress in this life. The guru Sadghuru also talks about the concept of inner engineering. Every one of us already has all the pieces we need within to live fulfilled, but it’s the way that we put them together that will determine our quality of life. In a song by Jay-Z he says, “Then B.I. said, “Hov, remind yourself: Nobody built like you, you designed yourself!”

So here, I will remind you, DESIGN YOURSELF! Create a new story and build on that! My new story is: I was branded by God with this angel scar to help other women build confidence and overcome their insecurities around their scars. And it fits perfectly because the shape of my scar really looks like an angel!

In closing, your story is not the end. It’s only the beginning. Find a way to embrace it, or create a new story. One that lifts you and builds up your life and the lives of others around you. Only you have the power to change it.

I would love to hear from you. Comment below, what’s your story?